THE FIRST SEASON FINALE! To celebrate the final episode of the first season, guests of the show answer questions submitted by listeners, and, aside from some brief profanity, the threatening use of an effigy and John’s bruised ego, all goes well. This episode features commercials for In Flew Enza and Communioncations, LLC.

With Doctor Arturo Bellerophon and Mother Bellerophon filling in for J., who is away in the Himalayas, answering machines are discussed, and Stanislaw offers for everyone to hear the outgoing message on the answering machine that he still uses, while the Bellerophons play old answering machine recordings that are, in more than one way, bad….

The night’s discussion of library card catalogs leads to J. giving an account of a harrowing experience he once had at a library, and, to John’s chagrin, this prompts Orson to bestow upon J. a great honor. This episode features commercials for Soup to Nuts and Coffee Run.

Before the night’s discussion of Marie Curie begins, John–much to Bannon’s dismay–discusses some business matters with Conroy. And, of course, while discussing Marie Curie, topics involving a cardboard box that represents a father’s love and the tastiness of bananas in Jell-O molds are also talked about. This episode features commercials for Lifeless and Tombstone Helicopters.

After being briefly sidetracked by the indignities of old age and the special theory of relativity, pull tabs are discussed. Stanislaw identifies a favorite beverage among cosmonauts and expresses his appreciation for engineers, while John complains about American English and recounts a dangerous encounter involving a baroness and the cork to a bottle of brandy….

Following its neglect during the previous episode, pinsetters are discussed, but not before John finds out that the apology he’s been waiting for will never come. An attempt is made to explain bowling to Orson…with unexpected results and maybe the invention of a new yeti sport. This episode features commercials for Auntie Botulus Pickled Eggs…

After John makes a remark that compels Bannon to serve up glasses full of payback, the night’s topic is totally ignored. However, a good time is had by (almost) all. This episode features commercials for The Transcendent Bowel and Guenther Schlutz.

With everyone finally discussing double features, the topic has J. reminiscing about his childhood lemonade stand and John being chastised for bringing up his new business venture. And when B movies are brought up, Stanislaw is reminded of a frightening incident at Baikonur Cosmodrome that began with what initially appeared to be nothing more than…

John…is…back! This episode features commercials for Quotester and Four Wheels Financial.

Before discussing knocker-uppers, Bannon gives an update on John’s continued absence. The night’s topic gives insight into the sleeping habits of Doctor Arturo Bellerophon and Mother Bellerophon and reminds Conroy of a former colleague who became involved with weaponized caffeine. This episode features commercials for Bro and Plunger in the Mornings and Finance My Fedora.